Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are like me, then.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I wore a Trump hat to a doctor’s visit. The doctor made a strange comment, he was obviously on the opposite political point that make me uncomfortable. What shall I do on my next visit?

Be who you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s here now, writing to you.

My friend asked my crush and he said my crush hates me but not in a rude way. What does that mean?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I was tired of trying and failing.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

India to Open Flagship EV Making Policy to Lure Global Giants - Bloomberg

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Space photo of the week: Pink 'raindrops' on the sun captured in greatest detail ever - Live Science

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s still here.

Why can't my adopted sister accept she is not part of my family because she isn't related? Why can't she stop calling my parents mum and dad?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

And the sadness?

The sadness was still there.

I’ve Figured Out a Method for Keeping My Son’s Favorite Toy Clean. It Might Lead to Some Trust Issues. - Slate Magazine

I was tired of fighting.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

This nonhormonal hot-flash remedy gives options to women, experts say - The Washington Post

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Why am I so tired of seeing homeless people all over the place?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

I had run out of hope.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Science-Backed Tips for Increasing Your Stamina at Any Age - Prevention

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.